chelsea speak





A Decoder
(26th May 2008)




chelsea





What They Really Mean:

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    When anyone at Chelsea Football Club opens his mouth he's using double speak. Read below what they really mean.

    Chelsea Player:

      Before I signed I asked some players about the club and they said they were a great club with great values and fantastic fans.

    What He Means:

      Before I signed for the club I asked some players about the club and they said: 'Yeah, they do pay on time!

    Chelsea Player:

      Before I signed I asked some players about the club and they said they were a great club with great values and fantastic fans.

    What He Means:

      Forgot to mention, they pay what they say they will!

    Chelsea Player:

      I love Chelsea for 1000s of reasons and they are called the fans.

    What He Means:

      I love Chelsea for 1000s of reasons and they've all got the Queen's head on em.

    Chelsea Executive:

      We have a vision, a 5 year plan, to be the biggest club in the world.

    What He Means:

      We're going to be bigger than Fulham.

    Chelsea Executive:

      No-one can deny Avram Grant has done a great job in difficult circumstances,

    What He Means:

      Here's your P45, Avram

    Chelsea Executive:

      It's not the Chelsea way to comment on unfounded speculation on the future of our manager.

    What He Means:

      You still here, Avram?

    Chelsea Executive:

      That's an interesting question you pose. Sadly, we will have to consider moving to a bigger ground. We are at maximum potential at Stamford Bridge and a new bigger stadia will, of course, accomodate more fans.

    What He Means:

      Your having a laugh!

    Chelsea Player:

      Yes, there were a number of clubs, including from abroad, who expressed an interest but how could I not sign for this great club?

    What He Means:

      I got the pay rise

    ~ Paul Page


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